omegle conversations

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Stranger: @lewisusher/jellybean?
You: yes
Stranger: yes what?
You: yes, jellybean please Signed, Lewis Usher
Stranger: here you go
You: oh thanks idiot
Stranger: what?
You: I was thanking you, idiot
Stranger: why am i idiot
Stranger: ?
You: you tell me stupid
Stranger: gaar meanie
Stranger: your not really lewis are you?
You: don't tell me who i am and who i amn't
Stranger: are you lewis though?
Stranger: ?
You: I am
You: and I amn't
Stranger: ok well if you are then you need to know that im @Bondie09
You: roger
Stranger: roger?
You: I can't believe you wanted to talk to a stranger
Stranger: i didnt i wanted to talk to lewis
You: lewis is strange
Stranger: who r u? are you roger?
You: I'm the nectar from your boner
You: the wind for your peen
Stranger: but im not a guy
You: you can have boner nectar and not be a guy
You: women are comprised of 28 percent boner nectar
You: that's actually more than guys
Stranger: umm what?!
Stranger: if you arent lewis then im gone
You: honey, have a seat
Stranger: im sitting
You: I'm going to tell you something
You: and it's not going to be easy
You: but keep in mind that it's the truth
Stranger: ok
Stranger: shhot
You: I'm not
Stranger: shoot*
You: ....
You: I.... I'm not Lewis
Stranger: nooooooo!
Stranger: thats sad sad new
Stranger: s
Stranger: but you have been fun
Stranger: twitter?
You: are you asking me if I twitter?
You: like twitter my vagina?
Stranger: tyes
You: yes, at night
Stranger: lol
Stranger: whats your twitter
You: it's a horizontal twitter of sorts, strong focus on clitoral stimulation]
Stranger: umm ok
Stranger: whats your @
You: cameroncairney@gmail.com
Stranger: your twitter @
You: I my twitter is usually at home
You: in bed or otherwise
You: usually in bed
Stranger: no whats your name on twitter
You: my name is the same as it is when I'm not twittering
You: it's not changed at all
Stranger: lol ur funny
You: I don't understand
Stranger: why?
You: explain everything you know
You: i'm confused
Stranger: ok one sec
Stranger: i know that im pretty cool and your funny and my tongue feels salty and i had subway for lunch, lizards can grow their tails back and umm jelly beans rock
You: you were the girl in juno, no?
You: loves it
Stranger: i unfortunately was not
You: you lie hahaha *flirts*
Stranger: haha oh you
You: we're great friends now, i like it
You: hey so what's your mom been up to?
You: yeah just goin to school
You: .... workin'
Stranger: yes we are like bffls
Stranger: yeah my mums being doin stuff
You: right on, that's good to hear
You: you guys still livin' in the same place?
You: yeah, yeah, no I totally feel ya
Stranger: yeah saame place same time u?
You: yeah
Stranger: good good
Stranger: hows your brother? (do you have a brother?)
You: no i lost my family in the tsunami, you know that
You: how rude
Stranger: omg im so sorry i just forgot coz your taking it so well
Stranger: oh crap imma have to go do you have twitter coz if you do follow me @Bondie09 and ill follow you then we'll talk
You: follow me home
You: so i can rape you
Stranger: no lol
You: trying to get me to follow YOUR twitter?
Stranger: yes
You: no, right on that's cool
You: no, i totally feel you
Stranger: kk well follow be and yeah
Stranger: me*
You: yeah I'll hang out on your page
You: probably most of the day tomorrow
Stranger: yeah you do that matey
You: kay
Stranger: bye bye now
You: well okay
You: goodbye then
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Stranger: female with msn and webcam?
You: yes that describes me well
Stranger: whats ur msn?
You: who wants to know?
Stranger: me
You: state your name potential cyber-sex candidate
Stranger: phil
You: I need something to work with here if we're gonna do this
You: phil, that's a miserable faggot's name
You: give me a fake one, that'll have to do
You: We'll call you cumstain gaypoops
You: it's less gay than Phil
Stranger: ok :L
You: so I'll start
You: i'm all out of faith
You: this is how i feel
You: i'm laying naked on your floor spreading my vag
You: make your move
Stranger: do this on msn?
You: I dont' have that in my country
Stranger: webcam?
You: i might be able to dig one up
You: i'm surrounded by junk
Stranger: lol
You: it's hard to even hear you through all this junk
Stranger: do u have any pics?
You: yes i have pictures, yes
You: pictures of me i presume?
You: yes i have those
Stranger: can i see some :)
You: I can send you some of my favorite pictures
Stranger: ok :D
You: http://www.thegreatillusion.com/daydreams.jpg
You: it's all part of thegreatillusion.com
Stranger: hmmm
You: I'll build up to the pictures of me
You: and start off with my favorites
Stranger: cool
You: okay this next one is my fave band http://media.photobucket.com/image/stellar%20pic/emeek/Incubus%20Album%20Covers/Stellar.jpg
You: try it on for size
You: in your browser
Stranger: can i have a pic of u?
You: i get to show you 20 more of my favorite pics
You: then you unlock mepics
Stranger: ok
You: okay, but I need to ask you questions about each one so I know you looked at it
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Exerpt from the short story Blagdaross by Lord Dunsany

And then there spoke the piece of an old cord. "I was made in a place of doom, and doomed men made my fibres, working without hope. Therefore there came a grimness into my heart, so that I never let anything go free when once I was set to bind it. Many a thing have I bound relentlessly for months and years; for I used to come coiling into warehouses where the great boxes lay all open to the air, and one of them would be suddenly closed up, and my fearful strength would be set on him like accurse, and if his timbers groaned when first I seized them, or if they creaked aloud in the lonely night, thinking of woodlands out of which they came, then I only gripped them tighter still, for the poor useless hate is in my soul of those that made me in the place of doom. Yet, for all the things that my prison-clutch has held, the last work that I did was to set something free. I lay idle one night in the gloom on the warehouse floor. Nothing stirred there, and even the spider slept. Towards midnight a great flock of echoes suddenly leapt up from the wooden planks and circled round the roof. A man was coming towards me all alone. And as he came his soul was reproaching him, and I saw that there was a great trouble between the man and his soul, for his soul would not let him be, but went on reproaching him.

"Then the man saw me and said, 'This at least will not fail me.' When I heard him say this about me, I determined that whatever he might require of me it should be done to the uttermost. And as I made this determination in my unfaltering heart, he picked me up and stood on an empty box that I should have bound on the morrow, and tied one end of me to a dark rafter; and the knot was carelessly tied, because his soul was reproaching him all the while continually and giving him no ease. Then he made the other end of me into a noose, but when the man's soul saw this it stopped reproaching the man, and cried out to him hurriedly, and besought him to be at peace with it and to do nothing sudden; but the man went on with his work, and put the noose down over his face and underneath his chin, and the soul screamed horribly.

"Then the man kicked the box away with his foot, and the moment he did this I knew that my strength was not great enough to hold him; but I remembered that he had said I would not fail him, and I put all my grim vigour into my fibres and held by sheer will. Then the soul shouted to me to give way, but I said:

"'No; you vexed the man.'

"Then it screamed for me to leave go of the rafter, and already I was slipping, for I only held on to it by a careless knot, but I gripped with my prison grip and said:

"'You vexed the man.'

"And very swiftly it said other things to me, but I answered not; and at last the soul that vexed the man that had trusted me flew away and left him at peace. I was never able to bind things any more, for every one of my fibres was worn and wrenched, and even my relentless heart was weakened by the struggle. Very soon afterwards I was thrown out here. I have done my work."

New drawlins

This one is a work in progress:

This started off as a contour drawing and I liked the finished product so I decided to add versions of the character to the above drawing.


Oh, and a very brief attempt to add shadow in photoshop:

Marriage and a new drawing.

Hello all you all. Got married the other day, it was excellent. Went on a great old honeymoon in Big Sur. Stayed in a quaint little cabin and explored the forests and beaches of the area (pictures soon?). I made the mistake of watching the movie Antichrist a day before our wedding. Spectacular film, but quite unsettling. Anywho, here's a drawing I did while at the cabin (color/lighting effects courtesy of photoshop).

Little canvas.

Something I drew on a tiny canvas for Megan a few weeks ago.

Quick little mock-up eh?

Drawing.

Little somethin I drew up at 4 in the morning after a wyld nyte.

Quck lil' update.

Hello peenfolk. I bring to you two more recent drawings - neither of which are stellar - and an updated/modified drawing.

Omegle.com antics

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HI~
You: HEY YOU STRANGER FUCKIN PEENWEEN
Stranger: = ='''
You: looking for christian singles?
Stranger: r u crazy?
You: suck em out of my raunchy peenweenis
You: my peen breeds christian single babies
Stranger: i can't understand u
You: Well you see
You: sorry I started off crazy
You: what's your name?
You: My BF went raw on me a few months ago
You: and I am about to give birth to a christian single
Stranger: April
Stranger: and u?
You: from my peenween
You: My name is also April
You: do you ever get that feeling?
Stranger: oh really?
You: What month were you born?
You: answer the fuckin question april
Stranger: JULY
You: 3 months after...
You: april
Stranger: ok
You: I was also born in the month of July
Stranger: i never feel it
You: on the 4th?
You: were you born on the 4th?
Stranger: yes....
You: as was I
Stranger: ridiculous@@
Stranger: haha
You: it's crazy
Stranger: wow
You: just signing onto this website
You: running into your identical twin
You: so we should meet up
Stranger: how old are you
You: you first
Stranger: you can leave your msn?
You: what's msn?
You: MICROSOFT NETWORK
Stranger: msn messenger....
You: but what does msn stand for?
Stranger: yes
You: how old are you?
You: me too
Stranger: or you have any chat tool?
Stranger: 17
You: oh, yeah, me too
You: yeah I have this website called omegle that i use
Stranger: only this?
You: Yeah, what more do you need?
You: I leave the window open if I find a friend
Stranger: how do u chat with your family,friends?
You: I use my telephone
You: lol such a relic
Stranger: oh~~
Stranger: haha
You: remember the movie "THE RELIC"
Stranger: where r u come from?
You: Yeranus
Stranger: what's that movie taking about?
Stranger: talking
You: It's talking about like the sins of man and how they catch up with us through our history
You: "THE RELIC"
You: that's what ends up haunting us
Stranger: OKAY!!!i'll write down
You: yeah u gotta see it
You: we should go see it sometimes
You: you and I could become really close and great
Stranger: yes i thnk too
You: I'm glad I've found you
Stranger: think
You: so what do you want to do now that we are besties
Stranger: i want to practice my english
Stranger: me too
You: you should come sit in my beanbag chairs and play old games
You: relic games
You: like the NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT RELIC
You: we can play some relic-style shit
Stranger: what old games?
You: THE RELIC the movie the game
You: THERELIC-themovie.com
You: do your research
Stranger: oh. u r addicted to this movie
You: yeah I am campaigning for it
Stranger: haha
You: my boss said to become best friends with as many people as I could and get them into this dope flick
You: You dig?
You: Hey when are we gonna go picnicing in the countryside
Stranger: dig?
Stranger: haha
You: We can frolick around in the grass and rent the relic
You: "YOU DIG" is a slang for like "are you into that notion?"
You: rather "Do you agree or support that notion?"
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: my english is not well
You: The notion of frolicking in the grass and renting the relic
You: your english is wyld
You: I can get behind your style of wyld english
You: you should bring it to the states
You: we'd all get behind that
You: and while we were back there behind it
You: we'd talk shit about it
You: you should stop by friday we can frolick to the theater and catch a movie
Stranger: wyld english what that?
You: the relic is playing 7:45 on thursday
Stranger: oh
You: YOU'VE BEEN SHOOTIN' THE SHIT WITH RELIC_BOT - CATCH THE RELIC THURSDAY NIGHT AT 7:45 ONLY ON TBS
Stranger: it's a old movie

Peeing outside at night.

Let's talk weein' outside for a moment. Just about any fella who grew up in a fairly isolated area has likely developed a profound appreciation for peeing outside at night. Having lived in San Francisco for the past few years, this is a pleasure I seldom get to enjoy.

The other night, while under the spell of some loco herbweed and overwhelmed with the need-2-pee I decided I'd just go out on my fire escape and go weewee into the parking lot below. I will have it known that it was about 2 or 3 in the morning and my fire escape is in a pretty dark and isolated area. And so I climbed out my window and withdrew my Weenis Peebringer. I looked up at the stars and began the ceremony. As soon as the tinkle began I became aware of the massive buildings in the distance. I quickly got nervous and the wee ceased to flow. I stood there scared for a moment and tried to zone out and look at the stars in attempt to continue what I had started. I looked down and saw the city lights reflected in my awkwardly distributed puddles of peeeepeeee. The pattern really spoke volumes about my feelings at the time. I flexed my mind for a moment before realizing the futility of my actions. I sheathed my weemaker and climbed back into my apartment. I took a seat on my couch and stared at the floor, I was both sad and scared. What am I doing here in a city surrounded by towers of people. People who would gladly put a quarter into one of those tourist telescopes so they could watch me pee. I have yet to think of a good answer to that question, and that is why we will likely be moving back to SLO sometime within the next couple of years.

(Alternate Ending: I grabbed my sprayfinger and screamed at it as though it were a microphone. It responded by covering me in its weeblo.)

New drawlin'

70's space alien feller... pen, marker & watercolor.

Some things I gots.

Hey wonderpeople. Went to the Alameda antique fair dealie today... Found a few excellent items that I am pretty pumped on:



Anatomical illustrations of diseased peens. (Over 150 years old and colored by hand.)


Baby being stolen out of a woman's vagina with forceps. (Around 100 yrs old.)


Illustration of various eye infections and irregularities. (Around 100 yrs old.)


Skull of a Roe Buck from Switzerland.


We hung it all up with some previously collected relics in our hallway:



Here's a close-up of the Stephen Kasner print that Megan got me for my birthday last year:

Introduction to my USB microscope: Cockroach and Bloodletting

Here are a couple videos I made with my USB microscope followed by some still photos.

A dying cockroach:


This is me poking my hand with a wood carving tool. It looks pretty brutal up close, but the resulting wound was literally a tiny speck on my hand.


Close up of my t-shirt:


Hanna's finger up close:


Eisenhower's profile on a dollar coin:


Muh woman's ring-bling:

The post Michael Jackson era of Rotten Yella.

Hello there everyone. If you are reading this, Michael Jackson is no longer with us. Many other unfortunate souls have also passed on since we last spoke. People from regions where talent is given no chance to thrive and develop. Perhaps among these corpses there is a body that may have been a more prominent and admirable "King of pop" if given the materials and life span. I think what I'm doing here is trying to express how annoyed I am with the media's response to his passing. Several days later there are still multiple MJ related headlines on Yahoo's front page. Some of these headlines have even stated that he died "before his time"... this strikes me as being blatantly untrue, and I think that even MJ himself may agree with me here. His "time" ended quite a few years ago, when he stopped releasing decent music and named his kid Blanket. His body even began decomposing at an alarming rate. The last time I recall seeing him in the news was when he was photographed hanging his son off of a balcony. A terrifying image it was; a ghastly husk of a man smirking as he dangled a frightened child off of a ledge... Acknowledge his passing by revisiting his music and dancing around with your wiener out, but do not weep for him my children, for even as a godless heathen I can say with some confidence that he is in a better place.

Anyway, here's the Rotten Yellow logo as it appeared on page with a little color modification. In addition you will see that I started to draw an Indian chief on the same page and lost interest.

New look.

Hey peenworshippers. Got a new logo up and I plan on posting regularly again. I have a USB microscope that has been a great deal of fun. I'll post some stuff from that, and some new drawings and stuff. So keep your vaginas peeled.